Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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