Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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