My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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