i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
