I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Small penises have feelings too.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
