Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
