it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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