Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
