When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
