i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize