He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
