And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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