I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
