dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
