remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
