Nicole vs. Life
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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