have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize