Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
