also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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