I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
