It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
