I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
