plz talk dirty to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
