so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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