Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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