Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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