sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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