summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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