He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
