It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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