Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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