How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
