Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
