i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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