is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
