what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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