i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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