So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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