Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my being single is dangerous.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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