If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
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