paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize