and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
