Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize