You just made me feel so damn special
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
