so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
