I wish I could punch you in the face.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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