call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
