Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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