everyone is single if you try hard enough
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
