There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
