i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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