sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
my liver is dry heaving
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize