so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
