I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
