Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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