17 year olds will be the death of me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
