Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
