...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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