I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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