Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
