i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
