no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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